A place to fit into

I have been struggling with finding a place I fill that I fit into for a Sunday School class. Every since Kevin has stopped going to church I seem to be miss placed. I enjoyed going to a "couple class" with him but now find I don't seem to fit in with the other classes. I had been going to a younger couples class with a friend. The teachers are great it's a fun, interactive and down to earth class but everyone in there is young married, or young kids. There is only one or 2 who have a teenager but still younger kids. It just doesn't seem like the place I am in life. My youngest is heading to college. Just a different time and place in my life. Today I went to an older class. I was then the youngest in the class. Many of the people in the class I have know for years but as I sat there, alone, I looked around the room and thought, I don't fit in here either. Frankly, I am tired of being half a couple. I could tell everyone in the class enjoyed being there, and had a bond with each other. Sharing their lives with each other and praying for each other. I just feel like I am not like any of them. I know everyone has their own struggles, sickness, family situations. I know I belong in church and a Sunday School class but just feel like I am looking in not being there. Sort of like a dream your not in the picture just looking in on it.
After Sunday school Mal and I went downstairs to talk to my sister for a minute. They have been working hard doing some changes and it looks great. Some of the adult teachers and workers were standing in the new "teachers room" kitchen. It was really nice. They were all laughing and excited about what was going on. I though this is what I want. To be in a place I have a vision and excitement for. I was excited for them and long to join with them but knew I didn't belong their too. You can not live off of others joy in Christ. I have to find my own.
What does this mean? I have no idea. I have struggled with going to a different church, but my family and Kevin's family all are still at there and some I wouldn't see at all if I didn't go. I also stay for Malori. I keep thinking maybe when she goes to college.
I think the real problem isn't others its me. I long for God to be real to me at this moment and place in my life. Not just was, or did but is and doing.